In our tenth week

     In our tenth week, I feel different. I feel tired, but not as tired as I have been. I feel cranky, and every little thing sets me off. It's like all the little stuff I used to just put aside and 'let go' is starting to come back to me in waves. Not those gentle waves that lull you to sleep, those waves where you're standing with your back to them and you eat sand. Yesterday, I was sweeping the floor and was thinking to myself, "Joey has all weekend to do this stuff! Why doesn't he use his time off to help out around the house??" and I kept cleaning and grumbling. My brain, sober as ever, chimed in and said "Rachel, he has been working every weekend. He deserves some down-time. Besides, you just spoke with him and he said the house was clean. By his standards, it was clean and you can relax." Then hormonal Rachel ate my sensible brain and kept on her cleaning tirade. 

    I'm having a very tough time relaxing. My bath water can't be boiling like I like it, I can't have my glass of pinot noir, and eating crappy food makes me feel, well, crappy. I feel stuck, like I can't feel better. It's not depression or anything like that, it's just difficult to find my 'happy place' when I've been able to sit in a hot tub with a glass of wine (ok fine, 3 glasses) until I felt better before. Now, I just sit, sipping my decaf iced tea, griping about something not being clean enough. 

    I need to calm down and I'm not sure how to do it.

Ok, for the fun stuff before I forget:

How far along? 9.5 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: I haven't weighed myself since our last appointment, but I feel myself getting bigger. I'm gonna say I've gained 5 lbs in all.Maternity clothes? Pants, sometimes. I am out of the bloated/fat stage and coming into the actually pregnant looking stage. Not there yet though, and still have to wear stretchy pants. I did buy a bellaband and that helps my unbuttoned pants stay put. Sleep: Eh. I wake up sore. I've never liked this mattress though, and I wouldn't mind if it caught on fire today.Best moment this week: Sleeping. Not many great moments yet.Movement: none.Food cravings: Lots of sweets. Like, more sweets than I've ever wanted/eaten in my lifetime. I've decided to cut way back on sugar though, I don't want di-beetus.Labor Signs: noBelly Button in or out? inWords of Wisdom: Yikes, I don't have any. Maybe a mantra is what I need...Milestones: My uterus is the size of a grapefruit.